英格力士，俺也來一段

changkongceyi

諸位大俠：
$ k0 e9 x3 e# x' j' t1 P6 S0 |7 g      小弟經常吹噓自己在學新概念，怕自己把這事兒說著說著就忘了，現在還在基礎階段，獻丑來一段，諸大俠莫笑
                                                                                         Journey to Baoji
     As a yong guy who still is interested in playing,how to spend my holiday is a really serious problem for me.As I have little money,the choices for me are very few,I can not afford anything coast much.At the end of last December,I met the problem again,but I am not a guy who does not dare to have a crazy idea.
After asking a friend comes from Baoji,I got my destation for my holiday,it is Baoji where I would to go .I have several friends there and it is also a city rich in history and the coast would also be little.I am sure it is an ideal place for my vacation.But the most important thing is that I want go there by biycle alone in such a cold winter.
    With warm clothes,gloves,torch,enough food, drink,and even spare battery,I got my start at the morning of 31th,December,I was sure it would be a wonderful gift for my new year.At my startline,the time is 7:50pm.I did not check any map before my start because I think it is more interseting if I go the way by my own ability.So I went to south along 210 road,the road which took me to one of the higest mountain of Qinling,there were few people on the way that morning, I rade fast for I had past there several times.but there were several trees new planted fell down on the way,the trees were so large that I had to stop to get a new way,they always do thus stupid things for us as we all know.
4 Z  ?% t$ S1 {; ?9 u, {2 i   After 210 road,I went to west along 107 road,it is a way located at the north of Qingling mountains,I had a good look at of the mountains on my way to west ,there are many scenry spots along the mountin I had visted several in 2012,I can remember all I had done there.When I was riding there was a message came,I read it at my rest point,it read”happy new year”,came from my phone manager who gave me the opportunities to meet Liangwendao and Qulimin this year and I learnt a lot from them,so I sent a message back to her about what I was doing and how beautiful it is to see the smog along this way with the best wishes to her for the new year.After this I went on riding again,the distence from my point to Baoji was still far enough. To my surprise is that there are several long slope,I had to slow down.to save my energy.Several hours later,I arrived a cross,there was a driver who having a rest,I asked him the distence to Baoji from my point,he told me that there is a half,hearing that I was shocked,may I get my destination on time?But all what I can do that moment is keep riding,I can not give up my plan.
5 B  x+ U' L' r/ u0 L* s   To avoid worrying much about the trip,I started to linsten music by a nano borrowed from my friend,it is really important to take it easy at such a nervous moment.When I arrived at the way to Taibai,the highest mountain of Qinling,I asked an old man how to get my destination again,he told me there is a distence of 70km left for me and there are few resterants or hotels along the way, it would be a hard way.After eating the food in my bag I turned on my torch,it is dangerous to ride without it in dark.As a happy fool,I can stay calm when I am alone,I can play game with myself just like sid,so I had a good time in my riding,I had a carefully look at of the stars on sky,we can hardly see these beautiful stars in city,you can have a great share of it.
9 S* w6 g( |* h1 s5 u: ?# {- d    After 14 hours riding,I got my destation at 10 in night,my friends were waiting me worrily there,one of them laughed”you are a really happy fool”,but all what I wanted that time were food and rest,I was so starve and tired to say any more.
此次旅行從2012.12.31開始，結束于2013.1.3，共計行程400公里左右，單人單車，收獲如下：
7 p) h0 B! M; z3 A            1.        伯努利方程貌似對卡車也有效——俺在寶中線返程時身旁有重型卡車有高速通過，俺感到了股強烈的氣流，吹得俺都有擺動，然后俺真的明白火車站那道線的意義…
% M, L) ?  K8 d+ J8 W+ U            2.        沖鋒衣PU涂層真的透氣——俺返程后發現背包帶是濕的，而外套卻是干的，材料真 的很有趣
9 u; a. a! i" s9 a            3.        靠估計不可能一直玩下去——俺朋友的商店吊頂用輕型龍骨，已經有明顯塌陷，他們干活沒有計算
            4.        沒文化很可怕——炎帝祠有堵名人題字的墻，但仔細看看發現挺有趣：發展、弘揚、促進、提高，還有一位要盡早完成祖國統一的…俺第一感覺是運動會入場口號
            5.        沒追求更可怕——朋友的朋友，2012總共工作兩個月（打工，兩個月便放棄），不讀書、不做事，成天無所事事，住處垃圾堆得跟山似的，聽到俺讀書的第一句話是“那有啥讀的”
; [. i4 X1 M" Q3 W! w

超越自己

寫得不錯，這會有點兒眼疼，看的花了，等會我再好好看看，不知道之前基礎怎么樣，寫得還是不錯的。繼續加油，等哪幾我也上來秀一下，哈哈。

robaiming

兄弟學了多久了，在你面前很慚愧啊

潑墨

第一句語法錯誤就很多    建議把語法鞏固一下

天水藍

樓主還是很有潛力的哦.
恕我直言，兄弟寫的這段，基本是中文思維和中文語感。建議樓主盡量多讀多背好的文章，定有大的突破

工具人

無論如何，寫了這么多都要鼓勵一下，俺除了考GRE作文之前突進那陣子，都沒怎么寫過這么長的。不知道為什么不能給你加分。。。
好多語法和拼寫錯誤可以被word校正。
這篇如果給外國人看的話，可能看得不是很順暢，但大意能懂。話說回來，中國人寫的東西，有幾個能讓外國人看得通暢呢
* S& {5 g* V: I: |1 i' @他們自己寫的東西也都語病連連，簡單一例, I don't know nothing about this，怎么翻譯？習慣用法而已。語言本來就是說的人多了，錯的也成了對的。
能交流是目的，樓主加油！

04102

佩服一下。。俺在寶雞的說
+ a9 U" O& |2 ~* G加油吧

gerry0086

想學英語 但音標都忘記了

秋山雨亭

當初學的時候也沒在意